My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
