i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have fence marks all over my body
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
