Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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