I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
