I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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