TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
