hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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