If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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