ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You dont lie about slip and slides
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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