some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
