is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
