I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
