If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
