she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
