i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
