I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
