Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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