Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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