shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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