I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
