soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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