Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
