I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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