Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
