when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
