It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need a beard to bite.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
