She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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