I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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