just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
