My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we're chasing vodka with high fives
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
