How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
