I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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