erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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