just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
