Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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