addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
