so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
