no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
