You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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