I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
