My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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