I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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