i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
