what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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