More tranny stories later!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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