If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
