oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
