3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This show inspires me to have sex in space
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
