so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
