big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize